Family Cluster - Beta 2 Edition

Don't Let The Big Bang of July 4th Scare The ...Out Of Your Dog

Kristin Chaffin — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 21:19:08 -0400

Do you look forward to celebrating 4th of July, but dread it for your dog? How can you help your dog cope with the trauma of all that noise?

It's a little late to desensitize your dog for this years 4th of July celebrations, but you can work on it for next year and I will tell you how in a few minutes. But first let's talk about helping your dog cope this year with our online dog training tips.

Do:

Put your dog in a safe, comfortable place as far away from the noise as possible.

Put cotton in his ears to help muffle the noise.

Play some music that is soothing and play it loud to distract your dog.

Give your dog a special toy like a Kong with food inside of it. Or a hollow sterilized dog bone that you can stuff food in the center. If he is use to raw bones then get a big raw bone for him to chew on, if he isn't use to raw bones don't, too much at first could give him loose stools. (Food helps to relieve stress.)

Ask your vet for some anti-anxiety medication if this suits you, but I don't like using drugs if possible.

Try some calming and sedative herbs: Chamomile, Valerian, Catnip, Lemon Balm a trip to the local Health Store may prove to be very helpful. Most have sections for pets. Let them know what you need.

Don't:

Give your pet a lot of attention and praise this will only reward his fear.

Try to sooth and cuddle him it will only reinforce his behavior.

Scold or punish your dog.

Lack consistency and let your dog do something you don't normally do like: get in bed.

Steps to take for desensitizing your dog to loud noises and 4th of July celebrations:

Record the 4th of July festivities so you can play it at home later. Record and any other loud noises your dog doesn't like: Thunderstorms, sirens, gunfire, etc. You could also buy sound tapes.

Play the recording of the noises; very low volume at first so the dog hardly notices it. You can do this at mealtime, play time, or play it and give the dog a treat. Slowly increase the volume, as your dog shows no signs of getting upset, this could take weeks or months to get it to the highest volume, so the dog gets use to the loud sound. Always make it a pleasant association with food and fun.

Do this inside the house, and outside in the yard, and even in the car or any place the dog may be with you like at a friends or other family members house. Just because he is fine with the noise at home, doesn't mean he will be okay with it elsewhere.

Make sure you have a strong leadership role with the dog. My free online dog training Ebook "Discover The Simple Dog Training Secrets Of A Pro" will be a big help in showing you how to properly communicate leadership to your dog.

Practice obedience with your dog working on Heeling, Fun solid Recalls, Long Down Stays, and Sit Stays slowly add distractions, always making it easy for the dog to win and get rewarded. Practice until your dog can do a 30-minute Down Stay and a 10 minute Sit Stay with you in the room at 6 feet away and hopefully farther away too. Also practice these exercises as you play the sound tape, low volume at first, then increase the sound as the dog is ready and as relaxed as possible. Be Patient!

With your Stays, start close and slowly build on time and distance. When you increase time reduce the distance at first then increase distance as the dog shows you he is ready. Build on wins and lots of praise and food treats as rewards. Once your dog is steady in these exercises you can slowly reduce the food treats and just give it now and then. It keeps him guessing. Always use lots of verbal praise.

I hope this helps you and your dog cope this year and be more prepared for next year's celebrations. Not to mention helping your dog have a more stress and fear free life when you help him face his fears and relax.

Design and layout

Webmaster — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 21:22:22 -0400

The design and layout upgrade is continuing smoothly. We have completed several more steps toward our final objective. We welcome your feedback on the new design.

Simplicity

Our design goal is simplicity. The new navigation is more standard with drop down navigation. Hopefully all menu items are properly labeled and easy for you to find. If you have any trouble please contact us, or comment on this post. To help you find quickly find what you want we have setup two side bars on each side of the screen.

Logo

We are currently planning out the Family Cluster logo and we will be contracting with a professional logo design company shortly. If you have any suggestions on how you would like the logo to look please contact us, or comment on this post.

Navigation upgrade

Webmaster — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 12:34:47 -0400

For the final upgrade our navigation system is changing. Some menu items will be at the top of the screen while others will remain in their present location. We apologize for any inconvenience.

Suicide and the Elderly

Content manager — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:12:56 -0400

Suicide has become a major concern amongst the older adults of society with the over 65s becoming one of the highest risk groups for suicidal behaviors. In fact, white males over 65 have the highest risk group of all for suicide. In fact, previous studies have shown that, although adults over 65 made up only 13 percent of the population, they made up 18 percent of all deaths by suicide.

This trend may be due to a number of factors such as depression, chronic pain, physical or mental illness, death of spouse, retirement and lack of social networks. Older men living alone and no longer engaged in productive activity such as employment, face a greater risk of suicide than married men or women. Often, it is a combination of all the aging factors that lead them to this end.

When you think about it, elderly couples have often been together for several decades, raising children and living happy lives as a couple. They see themselves as a half of a whole and the death of the other half is devastating. It is not at all uncommon for the spouse left behind to feel that he or she is just not able to live without the other. They may also see death as being reunited with the spouse who has already passed on.

Retirement can also be traumatic, particularly if the person has been in the job for many years. This sudden loss of productiveness and the associated social interaction may leave the person feeling isolated and worthless to society. Sadly, elderly people make sure that the act of suicide will be successful as they are more determined to die. Where younger people are often making a call for help, the elderly have decided that they no longer want to live and are therefore four times more likely to be successful.

There is also a large number of deaths caused by homicide-suicide. In the majority of cases, the person kills his spouse before killing himself. People over 55 years of age account for the majority of these deaths with about one and a half thousand people dying this way each year.

It is important to be aware of the warning signs of suicide in the elderly and to be careful in the techniques of approaching this behavior. Some signs to watch for may be irritability, changes in appetite, change in sleep patterns, chronic pain or headaches. Of course, these may not be a sign of the person considering suicide and are only an indication. Medical interventions may be all that is needed. The person's physician can assess them for depression to avoid possible suicidal behavior.

Depression is a biological mental disorder where people feel sad, hopeless, or lost. They may lose the ability to concentrate and often show significant changes in sleep or eating patterns. Often a person suffering from depression thinks about ending their life and suicide may occur when the person has major depression.

Not everyone gives out warning signals before a suicide attempt. However, most show some form of indication to friends or family members.

If you believe that someone is at risk of committing suicide, don't take it lightly. Offer the person support and take action to avoid the act. Putting the person in contact with crisis intervention agencies, psychiatric services, or support groups is a great way to start. Become involved by showing that you care, listening to their troubles, and generally giving them hope and encouragement.

If you are a family member or friend, organize other members of the family or other friends to visit regularly. Talk about the happy times, helping the person to recall joyous memories. These acts can help to ward off depression. Being a support system may make all of the difference to the person's feelings of being wanted and loved and may help to prevent suicide. Feelings can be changed and suicide can be prevented.

Are We There Yet?

Content manager — Mon, 19 May 2008 05:22:56 -0400

Summer is here -- that wonderful season when we take our kids on trips to enjoy nature and some relaxed family time together. Of course, whether it is the cottage, a camp site, or a resort, we have to get there first and that’s not always easy. Whether driving in the car, waiting for a bus, or waiting at the airport, having something to do with the kids can be a lifesaver! What our family loves to do is to play games. I have assembled here some of our favorite games. The first two are car games, but the rest can work anywhere. Enjoy!

Travel Alphabet: Travel Alphabet is a simple, cooperative car game in which everyone works together to find an object outside that starts with each letter of the alphabet (difficult letters like Q, X, and Z can be omitted). For example, for A, “air,” “airplane,” or “animals” are some possibilities. I like that this game encourages the children to look out of the window and to see the scenery (of course this game doesn’t work at night, but by dark, hopefully, the kids are asleep).

Silly License Sentences: This game starts with the first player challenging the next player to come up with a sentence using the words that start with the letters on a license plate -- in order! So if the license plate was AKPA 569, you might come up with, “All kangaroos play around.” The sentences can be extremely silly but must be grammatically correct.

Hum That Tune: Can you guess the mystery song? The first player hums a section of a song for the other players to guess (it must be a song that the other players have heard). The next player can either be the one who guessed correctly or the next player in order from youngest to oldest.

Alpha and Omega (or First and Last): This is a word chain game where the next player must make a word that starts with the last letter of the previous word. Players alternate calling out unique words (that have not been said in the game so far) that start with the last letter of the previous word. This is usually played with some restriction of subjects (for instance fruits, mammals, birds, etc.). Usually no proper nouns are allowed (names) unless it is specifically tied to the subject as it is in Geography. It is called Geography when cities, towns, countries or provinces are the allowed words.

Crambo: Crambo is a fun game in which a person thinks of a word and the others have to guess which word it is. It utilizes rhyming, expands the vocabulary and pushes one to think of riddles. All players participate all the time. The player who begins the game thinks of a word that belongs to a large rhyming family (a word with many rhymes), like “mat,” and gives the others a clue by giving a rhyming clue, such as, “I am thinking of a word that rhymes with cat”. The other players try and guess the word indirectly by giving a short, descriptive riddle as their guess. For instance, if a player wants to guess “rat,” she might say, “Is it a small animal with a long tail?” The first player must then guess what rhyming word the challenger is alluding to in their riddle and must answer it, i.e., “No, it is not a rat.” A player can win by guessing the word or by posing a riddle that the first player cannot figure out (it must be a riddle that gives a good description of the word, as decided by the rest of the players). If all the players give up and cannot guess the word, then the first player wins. The winner gets to start the next game. We also play this game with kids smaller than 7 by having an older player give them a little help.

Ghost: Ghost is one of our favorite word games and we often play it on a long trip (the only danger is that I have sometimes gotten so involved that I missed my exit on the highway!) Players alternate calling out letters that could make up a word and the goal is to try and not be the one who calls out a letter that finishes a word, with a minimum of three letters. If you see no way out, you can fake it and call out a letter even if you have no idea if it could lead to a word. At any time, a player can challenge any other player and then they must say what word they were thinking of that the string of letters could make. If they have a word, then the challenger loses. If they do not have a word, then they lose that round. Each time a player loses, they get one letter in the word, “Ghost.” When a player gets the word Ghost (loses 5 rounds), then they are out of the game. At that point, the players might finish the game. The order of first-to-last place is decided on by whoever lost the least number of rounds or they can continue playing until all players but one are “out.” In this game, all words are allowed (not only nouns), except proper nouns (people’s names, place names, etc.). An example with three players: (player 1), “L;” (player 2), “I;” (player 3), “V.” Player 1 realizes that by saying “E,” she would be out of the game and then thinks of the word “LIVING” and says, “I”; player 2 realizes that he is stuck, so he accepts the point and gets a G (first letter of ghost). Variations are:

Advanced ghost: Letters can be added on either side of the word. This makes the game quite a bit more challenging and is a good game for great spellers.

Reverse Ghost: This game reverses the object of “Ghost” which is to conclude with the shortest word possible. The round in “Reverse Ghost” does not end with the first word made if a longer word can be achieved. For example, if “c,” “a,” “t” has been called out to spell “cat”, the game continues with the next player realizing that they can call out “a” to make the word “catalogue.”

Preacher’s Cat: This is another fun game where kids get to practice matching adjectives and names while traveling through the alphabet. Each child says, “The preachers cat is a/an __________ cat and his/her name is ____________” with an adjective in the first blank spot and a proper name in the second, both starting with the same letter of the alphabet. The first player starts with “A”. For example, the player could say, “The preacher’s cat is an awesome cat and her name is Angeline.” Play continues all the way through the alphabet, skipping X. Usually we play this just for fun. We have no winners or losers and help out a child who asks for help and is stuck.

Follow the link http://www.imagineandlearn.ca/Free_Games/free_games.html for more great game descriptions.

Cooking- Cooking With Kids

Content manager — Sun, 18 May 2008 22:18:07 -0400

Kids love to be creative. Cooking is a great outlet for kids to express their creativity. It can also help provide a wonderful way to build and develop self-esteem.

One-on-one Time

With our lives so busy, cooking provides a wonderful way to spend quality one-on-one time. The memories that are created while cooking together will last a lifetime. I am sure many of you have fond memories of learning and helping your parents or grandparents cook. It may take extra patience and time to prepare the meal, but the benefits far outweigh the time it takes to clean up.

Age Appropriate

Depending on age of your child, pick age appropriate tasks. For example, if your kids are too young to measure or assemble ingredients, let them have a quick stir or let them pour something into the bowl. They will be thrilled to just be able to help.

Older kids can help with things like measuring, stirring, assembling and helping follow the recipe. Teenagers can also help by preparing, shopping and cooking the meals with minimal guidance.

Benefits

So what are some of the benefits? Some you will see immediately and others may take a life time to notice. Either way, there are many great benefits.

Not only does it teach kids a lifelong skill, but it also helps instill healthy eating habits. Kids that learn to cook and eat healthy will be more likely to continue with good eating habits into adulthood. Encouraging kids to cook and eat healthy foods like fruits and vegetables in the home can also help reduce the amount of junk food they are consuming.

It also can reduce the number of times a family runs through the drive though or picks up take out, thus helping the family save money and reduce caloric intake while developing healthier eating habits.

Family Time
Another added benefit is that it provides children with structured family time. Children love stability and cooking and eating together is a chance to provide family togetherness. It also helps kids feel like they are contributing to the family. Plus when they help prepare the meal, they are more likely to feel a sense of accomplishment and actually want to eat the meal. Picky eaters will even venture out to try food they helped prepare, more so than they would if you simply put a plate of food in front of them. Now what parent does not wish that mealtimes would go a little smoother?

Great family recipes and secrets are learned and passed down the line. Many of our favorite recipes get passed down the line from past generations. If your family has a great cooking history, pass it along to your kids. In turn, they will share it with their future families.

Have fun sharing and creating memories with your kids.

Ten Ways To Help Children Through Divorce

Content manager — Sun, 18 May 2008 22:03:31 -0400

Going through a divorce is no fun for anyone, but children are especially vulnerable. Divorce specialist attorney Ed Sherman reveals in his book Divorce Solutions: How to Make Any Divorce Better, the following 10 things you can do to make a big difference in how well your children survive.
1. Tell children the truth in simple terms with simple explanations. Tell them where their other parent has gone.

2. Reassure them that they will continue to be taken care of and that they will be safe and secure.

3. Your children will see that parents can stop loving each other. Reassure them that a parent's love for a child is a special kind that never stops.

4. Spend time with each child individually. Whether you have custody or visitation, the most important thing to the child is your individual relationship with him or her. Build the best relationship you can. The future is built of many tiny moments.

5. Children feel responsible for causing the divorce. Reassure them that they are not to blame. They may also feel that it is their responsibility to bring their parents back together. Let them know your decision is final and will have to be accepted.

6. Divorcing parents often feel guilty and become overindulgent. Give your child love, but also give limits.

7. Your child is still a child and can't become the man of the house or a little mother. Continue to be the parent to your child. Seek other adults to fill your own need for companionship.

8. Avoid situations that place a child in the impossible position of choosing between parents:

* Don't use your child as a way to get back at your spouse. Children can be terribly wounded this way.
* Don't say bad things about the other parent in hearing of a child.
* Don't say or do anything that might discourage the child from spending time with the other parent.
* Don't encourage a child to take sides.

9. You and your former spouse will continue to be the parents of your children for life. Pledge to cooperate responsibly toward the growth and development of your children as an expression of your mutual love for them.

10. Be patient and understanding with your children. Be patient and understanding with yourself.

Even though it may be the last thing you feel like doing, cooperating with your spouse during your divorce is one of the best things you can do for your children. They learn that conflicts can be resolved eventually, which is a valuable lesson.

Summertime and the Thieving is Easy!

Content manager — Sun, 18 May 2008 16:51:20 -0400

There is no doubt that the long lazy days of summer perk us all up and put a smile on our faces. No doubt either that the burglar is also perked up by summer because it is the season that many homeowners make things so easy for him.

The summer warmth means that it is time to open up the windows and let the breeze blow through the house. After all you are at home so what risk is there in opening up a window or two? Unfortunately many a homeowner has suddenly made the decision to take advantage of the weather to go out back and attend to a spell of gardening, forgetting that the windows at the front of the house are open.

Along comes Mr. Opportunist burglar. It does not take him long to size up the situation and see his opportunity. He may not even need to climb in through the window, he sees a couple of your items that are close, reaches in and takes them. The thief is not particularly looking for a rich haul, just something he can sell on to a fence to get him his fix for the day.

If he does climb into your home and rummage through your stuff, you will be unlikely to hear him; you are preoccupied with tending to your gladioli and hollyhocks.

Worse than leaving windows open and working in the back yard is making a trip to the store and leaving open windows. You are not safe by leaving upstairs windows open. Some burglars are very agile and it is no problem for them to climb on top of your garage or find some way to get in the window.

Burglars have also been known to climb in the open window of one room while the family sat in front of the TV in another room, no doubt with the sound turned up a little too loud.

Consider fitting window alarm screens. That way you can enjoy air blowing through your home and a good degree of protection. (You should not leave your home with the windows open even with alarm screens.)

Summer is vacation time, the great get-away. And that means more opportunity for the burglar. Before you leave for the big trip arrange with a neighbor that you trust to keep your lawns cut and your garden tidy. Ask you neighbor to pick up your mail and any fliers left on your porch, perhaps even park his or her car in your drive for part of the day. The idea is to make your home appear occupied.

Timer switches are not expensive and can be set to make a good job of switching on and off lights, TV sets and radios. Exterior lights should also be controlled by a timer. Activate your alarm system before you head off and have your home phone divert to your cell phone.

The longer summer days, in some neighborhoods, mean an increase of gangs and groups of teenagers hanging around street corners. Most of these mean no harm but sometimes can get a little rowdy. For others the longer days mean increased vandalism and petty crime. Not much you can do on your own, but by being an active member of your neighborhood watch you help prevent things getting out of hand.

Enjoy the summer, it is over much too soon, just take simple precautions to prevent the burglar from enjoying summer too much.

Fire Protection - Is Your Family Prepared?

Content manager — Sat, 17 May 2008 17:59:15 -0400

Is there such a thing as a fireproof home? The answer is no. The best anyone can do is actively take steps to prevent a fire from starting in the first place, and, if one should occur, make sure you and your family knows what to do to get out safely and have the tools to do so.
Fire Prevention:
What kinds of things can you and your family do to actually prevent a fire?
1. Identify potential fire sources in your home such as the stove and other cooking equipment, heaters, portable heaters, water heater, etc. Make sure nothing flammable is stored near these heat sources. That includes pot holders and towels near the stove, or flammable items stored above the stove. Don't tempt your children to reach above the stove for candy or cereal - store those types of items away from any heat source.
2. When cooking make sure you're not wearing loose, long sleeves which could catch fire.
3. Don't smoke in bed.
4. Don't locate heaters within three feet of your bedding or other flammable upholstery.
5. Keep matches and lighters away from children.
6. Help prevent electrical fires by making sure not to overload electrical circuits. When not using them make sure you unplug unnecessary appliances.
7. Use extra precautions when using candles, especially around children and pets. Don't allow candles to burn unattended.
Fire Warning and Safety:
What kinds of things can you and your family do to remain safe should a fire occur?
1. Make sure you use smoke detectors on every floor of your home and near the bedrooms to alert you in case a fire breaks out.
2. Make sure you test the detectors regularly, and make sure batteries are replaced annually.
3. Draw up an escape plan for your family and make sure you practice that escape plan periodically. Ideally you should also have an alternate escape route drawn up should the primary escape route become blocked.
4. If you have a second or third story, make sure the bedrooms have escape ladders which are located near the windows and easy to use. These should become part of your escape route practice.
5. Make sure you have fire extinguishers in your home which are easy to get to in case of a fire. Do research the different types of fire extinguishers so you know which one to buy. Some extinguishers are only effective on certain types of fires.
6. Consider purchasing a fire blanket which can be used to extinguish a fire, such as a fire on the stove. Keep the blanket handy in the kitchen.
7. If a fire occurs in your home make sure you get yourself and your family out as quickly as you can, but try not to panic. If you are in your room and don't know if it's safe to open the door, check the temperature of the door. If it's hot don't open it. One way to check for heat is to check the temperature of the doorknob by spitting on it. If it sizzles and evaporates you know there's probably fire on the other side of the door. If trapped inside be sure to cover smoke entry points with wet towels or blankets. And yell for help or call 911 immediately. If you are able to exit, be sure to crawl low to the floor to avoid getting affected by the fumes or smoke, as smoke and heat rises.
With careful planning and attention to safety, you and your family can prevent and survive home fires. This is truly one instance where an ounce of prevention equals a pound of cure.

DATING VIOLENCE: Tips for Parents-Teens, Part 1

Content manager — Sat, 17 May 2008 17:13:09 -0400

Is your teen one in three who will become a victim of dating violence?

Here are Ten Tips for Parents to talk with their teen about - you can empower your teen and here are some of the tools to help you.

Before I give you the first ten tips, there are some things you and your teen need to remember:

* You have the right to a healthy relationship.

* You deserve better. Do not put up with abuse.

* You are not alone. Teens from all backgrounds are in, have been in, or know someone in an abusive relationship.

* You have done nothing wrong. It is not your fault that your partner abuses you.

* The longer you stay in an abusive relationship, the more intense the violence will become. It does not get better over time.

* Being drunk or high is not an excuse for abuse.

* No one is justified in attacking you just because he or she is angry.

TIPS ON DATING VIOLENCE:

1. Abuse in a dating relationship can be confusing and frightening at any age. But for teenagers, who are just beginning to date and develop romantic relationships, this abuse is especially difficult.

2. Surveys show dating violence is not uncommon among teens. When the abuse is physical or sexual, it can be easy to identify. Emotional abuse is much harder to recognize, but no less damaging.

3. Dating violence can be tough to talk about honestly. It can be uncomfortable to bring up and embarrassing to acknowledge. But with dating violence a fact of life for many teen couples, we've got to break the silence.

4. Sometimes it's easier to explore thoughts and feelings using this kind of example than it is to talk about our own experiences.

A Typical Dating Violence Scenario

Brenda is 15 and has never had a boyfriend before. She recently started dating Frank. She thinks he is so cute. Her friends all tell her how lucky she is because she has a boyfriend. At first, Brenda thought it was sweet that Frank began calling her all the time. He always wants to know whom she is with, where she is, and when she'll be home. He has told her that she was meant to be with him and him only, forever.

Recently, Frank has started belittling her in front of his friends, insulting her, and telling her she is fat. He doesn't want her to spend time with certain of her friends - he thinks they are a bad influence. He threatens to break up with her if she won't do what he says, and that no one else will ever want her. Brenda wants to make Frank happy. In fact, she'll do anything to keep her boyfriend. She thinks this is what being in a relationship is all about.

5. Relationship violence often starts as emotional or verbal abuse and can quickly escalate into physical or sexual violence. And although many teens know of at least one student who has been a victim of relationship violence, most parents either don't know it exists or don't know it is an issue.

6. Relationship Violence is a pattern of behavior used by someone to maintain control over his or her partner.

7. Relationship violence can take the form of verbal, physical, emotional, or even sexual abuse.

8. Relationship Violence is not about getting angry or having a disagreement.

9. In an abusive relationship one partner is afraid of and intimidated by the other.

10. How often does it happen?

24% of severe injuries and deaths occur when the victim is trying to leave or has already left the relationship.

Relationship violence is the number one cause of injury to women between the ages of 15-44.

63% of date rape victims are young women between the ages of 14 and 17.

70% of pregnant teenagers are abused by their partners.

Parents who have found these tips helpful often sign up for the newsletter and order the parent-teen home study course: Date A Hero, Not A Zero at http://www.eaglesport.biz

Be Safe & Empower Your Teen to Be Safe!

Linda "Eagle" Culbreth